I’ve been a bit odd or off today mostly. As usually I’ve worn my mask. I’ve cleared my office and the wall between my office and the neighbours has started to get taken out so that we divide the area up differently. Anyway that’s besides the point really. Where was I. Oh yes ok. Right today I’ve been on the go most of the day. After getting the office cleared I took the kids out to buy some stuff for,inch then all of a sudden it’s after 3 pm. My wife worked today so I was in charge. Half way through clearing my office my inlaws came around to say hello and had a cuppa. I felt so spaced out it was weird. While they were talking I just couldn’t concentrate and my mind just went way out there. Way away. Not sure where I was. Anyway I did a few silly odd things today. One was trying to unlock the padlock on my shed by pressing the button on my van keys! Another was checking twice and trying to lock my dads door with my house key. I spent most of the night last night dreaming about both of my parents. Not good. It’s taken its toll. Yesterday really has had its effect on me too. My heads spinning yet again at the minute. I thought I’d done so well getting stuck in to clearing dads house but I’m not so sure today as I’m shattered moth mentally and physically. That’s life I guess and dealing with a death and grief. This afternoon we met the vicar at about 5pm to discuss the funeral. It’s pretty much sorted but I’m fucked if I can remember what was decided. I guess the important thing is that at the time I agreed so it must of seemed like the right decisions. Anyway I know the middle hymn, it’ll be ‘the old rugged cross’ because my grandad liked it and had it at his funeral. So I figured it’s the right thing to do. My dad thought lots of his dad so decision made. Anyway we chose a possible spot for burial as long as it’s not already reserved. After that we went to his house to pick some more things up and we had the children with us and as soon as we got in there my daughter started going on about having biscuits. She’s only 9 poor thing. Anyway after a while I said where they were but ended up getting pretty short tempered with her. It really wasn’t her fault but I guess the cracks in my armour are starting to appear…..
