This week started slowly at work as I was really tired and very edgy, it was productive though, but has built up a bit again. Today I finished early but had still had a highly productive day. I felt really good too, which is great. I’m feeling pretty good now and was a little high a very short while ago until drinking a strong coffee, which has levelled me out a bit strangely.
I’ve realised that there’s a Metallica song that sums up my mental health state most of the time http://youtu.be/3QimHGlyxzI It’s got very apt lyrics, ‘old habits reappear, fighting the fear of fear, growing conspiracy, myself is after me, frayed ends of sanity, here them calling me’
I’ve been reading lots about bipolar again these last few days and have had to bring myself back to full presence and snap out of lower thinking. My thoughts have been exceptionally violent and aggressive although outwardly I’ve had my usual exterior. That’s me being me I guess. Just the way my mind works sometimes. When I do notice it creeping in from the dark depths I try to bring myself around, my higher self intervenes and says ‘it’s just your mind, stop the thinking’ so I do.
