I’ve woken up feeling pretty anxious this morning, I’m not sure why, but I feel like I’m tying myself in knots. My stomach is feeling light and edgy too. I’m trying to figure out why I feel like this but it’s adding too it too. I’ve lots I want to get done today but I don’t think it’s that. Who knows. Anyway I’m feeling anxious.
I wish I had enough money to retire or pack work in and retreat into myself deeply.
Every day I go to work I have to deal with customers face to face. I have to put my mask on to deal with it. It’s not them, it’s me. I have to listen to them talking about themselves and their lives at times, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that in itself, but I feel like I have to be polite, listen, non judging etc when they wouldn’t want to hear anything I might have to say. I feel like I have to prostitute myself to them. Most are very nice people, so I’m lucky I guess.
How many people talk and never really listen? All they care about is feeling they’re right or are just waiting to say what they want to say. This may sound odd but at times I wish I could just tell them to shut up or scream at them. At other times I really enjoy listening to older customers talk about their lives. I’ve considered training to be a counsellor or something similar, maybe I should. At times I hate the job I have and mostly would love to work from home and avoid people. It’s hard to know what to do.
