It’s Thursday already. This has been a busy week so far. I’ve still got lots I’d like to do too. I may work some of Saturday. I’ve realised how much what others say to me affects me and can continue to do so until register that it’s eating at me. Last night my wife had had a bottle of wine and then was quite angry or passive aggressive towards me briefly. I waited and then went and apologised to her for anything I may have done to upset her, something that can happen. When she explained her anger I was surprised. Anyway I found that it was eating away at me this morning and was playing on my mind when I was in ritual. It took a while until I realised that it was me carrying this inside and letting it eat away at me. As I write this I sense de ja vu. It’s good when I can realise that things can eat at me. Things my wife says to me especially so. I’ve often wondered if she does it on purpose. Then I realise that it’s not so, or at least it better not be.
I guess life has it’s ups and downs and once again I’m feeling a bit tired in all respects. A life of solitude seems most appealing. A life of no work. A life of not being so tired. A life where I have more time for my family and myself where we can live much more healthily. A relaxed life. Maybe even a life where I don’t interact so much with others if only for the winter.
