Monday night

It’s Monday night and I feel tired but good. Today I had my appointment and assessment.  After 70 minutes of talking and answering questions the psychiatric nurse came to the conclusion I’m bipolar. I said that I already new. She was cautious because not everybody wants to hear a diagnosis and she said if they don’t then that’s fair enough. I explained I am who I am and that’s all cool.  

  While we were talking she did say that from what I have said about the past I have done well not to of been sectioned and the only thing I can say about that is that I didn’t think I was so unwell and I didn’t realise I was in such a bad place at the time.  There’s lots I didn’t say but I guess I said enough and that’s all good. We talked about my life and I told her lots. She said normally they would offer coping strategies but I am already doing that and more. She told me I’m very intelligent and articulate and that it helped her understand where I was coming from. I told her some of the delusions I have had and have since remembered countless others. Anyway I guess today was good.   We spoke about medication and she feels I’m doing ok or certainly was up until very recently. She told me that because I’m intelligent and know lots, possibly more than her about bipolar because I can describe it well, it could be a good idea to now see the psychiatrist and discuss medication more fully and then I can make a decision. It’s possible that I might take an anti psychotic for a short period but that’s my choice and we need to think through possible side effects, but that it is a good idea to have some diazepam at home in the cupboard as an emergency back up in case I’m going mixed or manic and can nip it in the bud. I think that would be sensible. We did talk a bit about how they can be addictive though.  I talked through about my anxieties etc too  we discussed everything.

So anyway it was very positive and I’m so pleased I went.  At least there’s kind of a plan in place. I can call and ask any questions I might have now too and also have a number in case of a crisis. All good stuff. 

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