I woke early. I woke in the night several times. I didn’t go straight to sleep either. I’m not overly anxious but I think I was anxious in the night about getting tidy at work ready for the customers arrival tonight. I think I’ll go in this morning and tidy up and then take it from there. It’s windy outside today and maybe it’ll rain so I’ll try staying indoors at work. I hope it was only some anxiety in the night and not the start of a build up.
Tomorrow is the aniversary of the death of my mum 7 years ago so I’m concious that it might be affecting me slightly. It usually does. Also it’s 7 years ago. I wonder about the significance of numbers, 7 is quite a magical one. Maybe I can finally work my grief through properly or allow it to dissipate. It’s time to put it to bed and allow life to move on for my and my family’s sake. This year is the start of better things for us. A time of growth and love. Our world is changing and growing and I have to be ready to flow freely with it. Plans that we’ve wanted to make and have been placed on hold are still waiting for us to bring them to fruition. It’s time to let go and embrace my life again. It’s time to let go of my mental anguish and hell. It’s time to relax into myself. I’m alive and I’m 40. I didn’t die on my birthday so life will grow in abundance.
