I’m feelibg broken today. Last night my dad died. I’ve been in denial all week about how unwell he was. I’ve craved an alternative cure. I’ve been delusional. Reality sucks right now. I fear going way out there and breaking down. So many people have touched me with their kind words today and each time it’s brought me to tears. My eyes are welling up just writing this. Life is too short and cruel at times. Hindsight is a beautiful thing. I’m so so pleased a friend of my dads came to see me last Sunday to tell me how u well my dad was. If he hadn’t id be in more of a state than I am now. I feel glad that I’ve been there for him in his last few days and hours. At the hospital I’ve held his hand, wiped his brow, helped feed him and move him. Before hospital I’ve been able to help him when he was being sick and help wash him before his hospital appointment. I wish I could of taken his pain from him. I’m angry at his doctor who told me on Monday to call anytime I needed to because he didn’t return the calls. On Thursday morning I phoned for the third day running and got arsey. 10 minutes later another doctor phoned me back and within an hour a doctor was out to see him. The nurse who was working the day shift on Thursday and Friday was an absolute star. Absolutely faultless.
I’m all over the place as expected. Life goes on.
