Yesterday I cycled a little but it was very mild. Mostly I was and am hypomanic. My normal state. My thinking is becoming clearer again and things are settling down again. I’ve had some confusions but all is becoming good again I hope. I have realised that my coping mechanisms do work extremely well and I need to fine tune them. I need to be more aware of the triggers and of dates etc that can or might affect me. Taking time off from work is possibly the one thing I need to keep on top of and to make sure I actually do. Life can take over or work certainly can. It’s nice feeling back inside myself. I’m almost me again. Hurray. I’m slightly concerned about normal health but I expect some payback for the mixed ultra fast cycling episode. I’m winning. I will always be winning. I’m getting my mojo back and it’s good. My passion is coming back too. I’ve realised that I have to focus on myself far more and be a little more selfish. Life is good and I will take the rough with the smooth. It’s fine. Life is for the living. We are a long time dead and there’s no second chances in life. Talking of which we have the opportunity to rent 3 acres of land and I can maybe grow even more food there. Ideally I’d like to get better at it and then start maybe selling some. We will have 2 horses there initially and maybe some other animals. A cow possibly or maybe lambs and a pig or two. I want some ducks and chickens. Who knows. We need to talk to the farmer and see what he would be happy with us doing. Plans for life are always good. I even said to my wife that it all sounds good but I need to double check myself that I’m not just getting caught up in dreams rather than ideals and reality. So far so good.
