Monday, Tuesday and this morning, to an extent, I woke with anxiety or maybe that should be anxiety woke me up. Something happened at the weekend which was uncalled for and has set off alarm bells and red flags for me. The last year or so I’ve not really had anxiety at all but events at the weekend triggered past thought patterns, or past coping mechanisms, to crop back up and they’re not good past thought patterns either. Interestingly my thinking process had started to revert back to old default settings too. Thankfully I’ve realised this and am thinking differently again, stoically again, because of the ground work I’ve put in. However I cannot ignore the things that set it off. After ending my marriage I set out clear rules for myself and my life and those rules are now being tested, or have been tested. I’m sitting at a crossroads and now taking some time to weigh up the roads ahead that are open to me. I have to do this with logic, and my rules, rather than emotional thinking which is something I couldn’t do in the past. It’s very interesting to note it too. There’s also been a situation at work that has put stress onto me and that also triggered past thinking. A week ago I would’ve looked at it it differently to how I did yesterday but today I’m back to looking at it with my new eyes and mindset, like I would have last week. This is all very interesting because it’s shown me the power of our own minds when they’ve been trained for a year or two. A few short years ago these events, over the last few days, would likely have triggered a bipolar episode and reactions coming from emotional attachment. I’ve moved on from that though and have to continue with my new settings which I’ve programmed in so to speak. This leads me to ponder on something I’ve thought about for a while now which is mentoring others. Initially I thought about mostly business mentoring coupled with life/mindset. Maybe it’s time to start helping others who really do want to better themselves and their lives. I’d be interested in finding more people to mentor. Hmmmm. Very interesting.
