I’m feeling good this morning. I had a long day yesterday but a good day. I was tired last night but a good kind of tired. Sometimes I can be tired in a different way, kind of emotionally tired but physically ok or physically tired but really mentally wired. Being physically tired but wired is the worst for me. I lay down and toss and turn, my body temperature starts going up too. In fact when I am headed that way during the day my temperature can go up. Anyway, today I’m good.
People affect me more than I have realised in the past. At least I know now. I love talking with people even though I can be nervous inside. Older people can be fantastic as they have an understanding of life and its preciousness. I guess everybody has something to give. Sometimes I feel so very alone inside myself. Maybe it’s like being a mannequin in a shop window, you can see everyone but there’s a thin layer that separates them from me, I can hear and see them but they just look a little and drift by. And like the mannequin, I can’t talk or reach out. Luckily I’m feeling more human these last few days.
Normally when I feel ok I don’t write as much as when I’m not good, but I’ve decided that maybe it’s the best time to find some answers. If I can describe the feelings without feeling them as much maybe it’ll help me.
