Sometimes I feel like my life is a story that I’m just looking in on. I’m part of the audience not the actual participant. It’s like I’m watching things happen instead of making them happen. I’m just caught up in the story. I’m not sure what makes me feel like this or how it starts to happen. I’m not sure why either. Is there a trigger that I’m not seeing? I know that I seem to fear so many thing in life, things that I never feared before. I guess I need to get my head around things again. Every time I move forwards I feel thwarted. I used to blame others but not any more. It’s just me as always. I guess at least I’m facing up to things now instead of denying them.
How can I be more in myself? Do I analyse too much? I really don’t know. I know that if I didn’t analyse so much I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have already. I guess at least I’m aware that things in my life are down to me. That’s good.
