The more I delve inside myself the more I understand myself totally. I know my true self. The goal I’ve held for a long while has been my enlightenment. I’ve been there fully too. It’s not about sitting in a cave in the Himalayas either it’s about presence of self. About being fully present. It can transcend time. As much as I dislike some of the attributes I have in life at times I do actually love being myself in this flesh and blood body. How many people hide from themselves ? It’s painful to fully know yourself. Really painful at times but it makes one grow as a human while here. Life is both simple and complicated at times. My moments of absolute clarity can come from meditation or even from extreme stress. I have learnt that things will be ok. Always. I still stress at times. But less that I have in the past. More exercises are needed and more grounding too. I used to think I should live in a monastery or on retreat full time but I don’t need that. I really don’t. My highest self comes through in my normal waking times.
I have done some Sigil magic today. It works very fast. I usually burn mine after constructing them too. I use a method like Austin Osman Spares. It works well. The grounding that I will go back to will also help balance my mind too. I think my clarity is very good again. The last few days have been odd but it was my mums birthday on the 11th and that always affects me. I know this but it still hits me. Onwards and upwards again.
