Sleep and patterns

I sleep for almost exactly 8 hours every night. Last night it was a little less as I woke up early feeling really anxious about the day ahead. I’ve found that if I don’t go to bed when I’m tired I fall asleep on the sofa and wake up after about an hour and go to bed, but the next day it’s had a really adverse affect on how my mind functions.

Routine is really important to me and I feel so stupid at times trying to keep some routine going.

I lay awake in bed this morning trying to figure out my day ahead and what work needs to get done, but as soon as I had it figured out I realised I’d missed something out!  In the end I got up a little early and went to the toilet before doing my Qigong.

I feel much better for doing Qigong and meditating lots.  I’ve not meditated enough this last week as my mind has been in hyperdrive going millions of mph!  I guess I have far more high times than lows but when I drop a little I then seem to crash hard.


I’ve just meditated and feel slightly human now.  I’m nuts getting started with writing this blog and am still finding my feet and still wondering how much to share or how much to say.

Paranoia and anxiety

I’ve suffered lots of anxiety in the last few years and late 2012 into early2013 I had a few very paranoid episodes.

I’ve also wondered if my wife has munchausen by proxy and that I’m very normal and my feelings are a projection of her.  That’s just crazy on my behalf, but until I spoke about it I believed it could easily be true.

I guess my mind is starting to do overtime again.  It just keeps churning away at things.  Meditation and Qigong do help me quieten it though.

Diet and my mind

I’ve been vegetarian for over 8 months now and alcohol and coffee free for about as long. It’s had quite an impact on how I can deal with things in life. Stress doesn’t hit me like it used to. Although it does still affect me very adversely.

I do still struggle with racing thoughts. I don’t get as angry though, well I don’t think I do. I can be very demanding on myself and on those working with me. I have started exercising again too which coupled with a good diet does ease things a little.



My mind seems to of slowed as the day has gone on. At times my mind can jump from one subject to several others in what seems like a split second. I have described the speed of my mind as being like how Sherlock Holmes’ mind flies through things, how funny that today I read that the character of Holmes was very probably bipolar.

At times i get caught up in things. I call it passion, others call it obsessiveness. I guess that’s all part of being me. The struggles I have daily with myself, the times when I’m so super confident that others draw energy off me too are all part of what goes on inside.


hello from inside here

Hi,   I decided to start this blog to see where it leads me. I am a builder and very probably bipolar. I`m hoping to learn more about bipolar disorder and also post my views of my life and life in general, my thoughts on my life and exactly how I`m feeling.

Life can be tough for any of us, let alone when we are facing mental health issues as well as the daily grind of life.


Lets see where life takes us